I read the post of Prof. Ndubuisi Ekekwe yesterday about how they visited a big man’s house in Maitama, Abuja and the gatekeeper refused to open the gate for them to drive inside the compound simply because they came with a small car.
Well as an Abuja boy, I can fully relate and validate that post. Abuja is a city where you are judged by the material things that are in your possession at that point in time. Nobody cares if you borrowed it or not or stole it, they just want to see you as a big man.
But to be fair, this is not just an Abuja thing, it’s a Nigerian thing, and it is even worse in Lagos. Nigeria is that society where you will be given preferential treatment if, from your demeanor or appearance, people presume or take you to be a “big man”.
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I have lived in Abuja for a while, I have used a small car and I have used a fairly big car as well and I can tell you that the treatment I get is different. The same me, but with different cars, I get different treatments solely based on the kind of car I am seen with. Other Motorists will not cut you out or overtake you rudely if you are with a big car, law enforcement agents will be more courteous while addressing you if you are with a big car and so on.
Even when I go to church or social meetings with my fairly good car, I always get exclusively reserved parking spaces. You will see the security guards struggling amongst themselves to direct you or to show you the most comfortable spot for you to park.
Even in business relationships, some prospective clients will weigh you and size you up by the type of car you drive especially if the client is meeting you for the first time, some clients will want to see the kind of car you pulled up with. I have read stories of people losing contracts simply because they didn’t have a good car to attend the meeting with and they were therefore presumed broke. The worst is when you are attending a meeting and you go along with an Uber or taxi and the other people see that it was an Uber or taxi that brought you, thereby giving them the impression that you do not have a car especially if they are meeting you for the first time, they will treat you like a peasant.
I recently met with a prospective client and he was asking me what kind of car I drive, I told him, and we went on to discuss why I prefer such a car over others but deep down I knew he was sizing me up.
Even in a romantic or cordial relationship, there are some ladies you don’t stand a chance of dating if you don’t use a good car. Some ladies used to insist that their man must have a car but they are now specific about the kind of car the man must have before they can grant him an audience.
It is just a human thing; no matter how you want to twist it, people will always address you by the car you drive, your attire and the most ridiculous one, the kind of phone or gadget you use. If you use an iPhone, you are automatically presumed to be rich or elite even if you stole the phone or not.
This is why most Abuja men borrow things or package up to present the appearance of being rich so that they will not be stereotyped to be poor or broke hence the popular cliche that Abuja men live fake lives; they borrow Benz or use expensive Benz but live in a “one room self contain” apartment. You won’t blame them, they are simply playing to the societal gallery because since we are in a society where you are first judged by the car you are seen with, nobody cares if you are living in a hole or you borrowed the Benz.
It is funny and ridiculous but it is what we have come to live with.