The Societal Pressure to Become a Baby Mama in Nigeria: The Pros and Cons

This recent trend in Nigeria of becoming a baby mama to a celebrity is a wild one. I understand that it is even a bragging right to some ladies, i.e. being a baby mama to a popular person. 

We need to start having this difficult but true conversation that becoming or being a baby mama is not a flex neither is it an achievement despite whomever you got pregnant for. It is just an open display of how much you lack self-discipline and respect for your body. 

A huge chunk of Nigerian entertainers have baby mamas and some do not just one but multiple baby mamas. A Nigerian A-lister even has as many as six baby mamas. It is not a flex, it just shows how irresponsible and undisciplined those entertainers are and are not fit to be role models to our youths. 

The hard question is; would you want to get pregnant by a man who has refused or is not ready to marry you, and why would you impregnate a lady you are not willing to marry? I understand that some ladies do willfully get pregnant for the guy so as to “tie the guy down” and force him to marry them but it does not always work out that way. A man that you have to use pregnancy as a bargaining chip to force to marry you will always treat you like trash. Once you become a baby mama you have sold yourself short and you have lost all your bargaining rights that ought to have accrued to you as a wife. 

Bringing a child into the world is one of the most critical and important decisions you would ever make in your life so you really need to think hard about it before you embark on it, it’s a journey of no return; the journey of becoming a parent. It should never be a spur-of-the-moment thing. You need to be ready before you bring a child into this world; being financially ready, mentally ready, psychologically and physiologically ready or you will fail catastrophically as a parent. 

According to research most of the kids that turn into street urchins, become riff raffs and ragamuffins and engage in violent crimes are children raised by a single parent or raised in a broken home.  A child needs both warm motherly love to grow and a firm fatherly iron hard for guidance so as not to turn into a societal misfit. Parenting is a collective effort between the man and the woman. Once you see that one of the partners will not be able to join you in that journey you need to run away. Becoming a baby mama will only turn you into a single parent and you will have to work extra hard to make sure you do not fail as a parent. 

As a matter of fact, all of the baby mamas I know are regretting becoming a baby mama or getting pregnant by a man that is not their husband and is not ready to marry them. Especially the baby mamas the man had abandoned and they do not have a strong means of sustenance. Do not let the social media glitz and glass fool you; the majority of social media baby mamas are in deep regret too. Most end up becoming a nuisance, seeking attention up and down on social media and attacking their baby daddies. You may only be likely to enjoy a baby mama status if the man that impregnated you is rich and he is ready to take care of you and the child or if your family is rich and ready to sponsor you or if you are rich yourself if not you will suffer. 

Some ladies have missed lifetime opportunities by becoming baby mamas hence their utmost regret; some were still in school when they got pregnant and they had to drop out without their degrees, Some resigned from their jobs without proper planning or savings. After giving birth to the baby, readjusting into society without a degree, without a good job and without a sponsor or support is really something not to wish for, especially with the economic reality of today’s Nigeria.

Children are blessings but you need to be sure that you are ready to receive the blessing, if not you may end up cursing the day that blessing came into your life. Castaway today the demonic urge and the societal pressure of becoming a baby mama, You deserve better than being a baby mama.