Have you ever wondered what it means to be a “real man”? It’s not just about having muscles of steel and a fearless gaze but also a whole bunch of social stereotypes that can limit, and sometimes seriously harm, your life and those around you.
Toxic masculinity is that sneaky little worm that slowly gnaws away at your identity and your relationships with the world. Today, we’re offering you a funny checklist to help you figure out whether you’re showing signs of toxic masculinity. Ready?
Masculinity and Toxicity: Where’s The Line?
It’s not even “not all men” – it’s not “all masculinity”, either! There are beautiful displays associated with masculinity, such as being a good provider, a good dad, and having the courage to display vulnerability—but there is another side to this, too.
Superman Or Villain?
We all want to be the heroes of our own lives, but sometimes, heroism can turn into something dark. Toxic masculinity is like trying to be superman but ending up as the villain. It’s the pressure to live up to ideals that no one set, but everyone somehow tries to follow.
What Is Toxic Masculinity And How Does It Manifest?
Toxic masculinity is when you feel like you have to be tough, emotionless, and always in control. It’s when you believe that emotions are for the weak and that the world should bow at your feet. But that’s far from true strength.
Here’s Our Checklist: 10 Questions to Understand If You Display Toxic Masculinity
Now, let’s figure out where you stand on the scale, from a nice guy to a “nice guy”, from “good guy Greg” to “an alpha”.
1. Your Attitude Towards Emotions: “Real Men Don’t Cry”?
If you believe that crying is a sign of weakness, it’s time to rethink your views. Real men know that emotions aren’t a weakness but a part of being human.
2. Do You Believe A Man Should Be The “Head of the Family”?
If you believe that a man is the only one who should make all the critical decisions in the family, you might be forgetting about partnership. In healthy relationships, people should be equals, partners who support each other.
3. How Do You React To Failures – Do You Explode Or Bottle Up Emotions?
Toxic masculinity often shows in how we deal with failures. If you explode when things go wrong, or conversely, hide your feelings so no one sees your vulnerability, it’s a red flag.
4. Your Opinion On Male Friendships – Just “Beer With The Buddies”?
If, in your view, male friendship should be limited to get rowdy together and watching sports and any display of vulnerability from your buddies makes you wanna barf or laugh at them, you’re missing out on a whole world of deep and meaningful relationships that can exist between men.
5. How Do You Feel About Sex And Sex Toys?
Do you feel that women owe you sex if you’re being nice to them? Do you believe that a man with multiple partners is a god and a woman with the same amount of partners is a tramp?
Do you think that women who use sex toys are automatically cheating on their partners? Do you feel you can replace sex with a loved one with realistic male sex toys because “at least those always say yes”?
If your answer to any of these questions is yes, we’ve got a problem. Sex and sexual pleasure are personal matters, and if you equate toys to infidelity, you might be looking at things too narrowly.
6. How Do You Feel About Women Leaders?
Do you feel uncomfortable around women who hold leadership positions? This could be a sign that you’re holding onto outdated views on gender roles.
7. Do You Believe Men Should Be Physically Strong?
Muscles are great, but they don’t make you a better or worse person. If you believe that strength defines a man’s worth, you might be under the influence of toxic masculinity.
8. How Do You Perceive Tenderness And Affection In Relationships?
If you think that tenderness and affection are feminine traits, it might be time to rethink what it means to be a man.
9. Do You Feel Pressured To Be A “Real Man’”?
If you constantly feel like you have to be a “real man,” following some imaginary standards, this might be a sign that toxic masculinity is weighing on you more than you think.
10. How Do You Feel About Men Who Go Against Traditional Roles?
If you believe that a man who chooses a non-traditional path is weak or doesn’t deserve respect, you might be a victim of stereotypes.
Change Begins With Awareness
Recognizing that you hold toxic views is the first step toward change. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, but it gives you the chance to be better, to free yourself from stereotypes, and to live a fuller life.
The Best Version of Yourself: Be Authentic, Not Stereotypical
Instead of striving to be the image of a “real man,” try being just real. A real man is someone who isn’t afraid to be himself, who respects himself and others, and who understands that masculinity isn’t about strength but about confidence paired with respect for others.
And now, you’re ready to be better, more aware, and freer.