Act 1, Scene 1: Heritage Bank Collapses
“The Nigeria Deposit Insurance Corporation (NDIC) is hereby appointed as the Liquidator of the bank [Heritage Bank] in accordance with Section 12 (2) of BOFIA, 2020. We wish to assure the public that the Nigerian financial system remains on a solid footing.” – Central Bank of Nigeria, June 2024.
Act 1, Scene 2: Unity Bank Merges with Providus Bank
“The Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) has granted approval for a pivotal financial accommodation to support the proposed merger between Unity Bank Plc and Providus Bank Limited. This strategic move is designed to bolster the stability of Nigeria’s financial system and avert potential systemic risks,” Central Bank of Nigeria, Aug 2024.
Act 2, Scene 1: Audit of Central Bank of Nigeria since 2011
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Now that many banks are reporting that the FX gains which they trumpeted as a product of genius banking sagacity are all vapours, unrealized, and that means non-taxable on on the retroactive 70% windfall tax ordinance, I call the apex bank to invent better tools, on how it monitors banks. If the banks can suddenly re-allocate assets to NOT pay anything on the windfall tax, wasting “parliamentary time” of Honourables and Distinguished on making new laws, we may need to order bigger CCTVs in those vaults (both physical and virtual)
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The CBN went to the cemetery and brought back a corpse and resuscitated it. It told you that the corpse was actually breathing, but in order not to lose it, an uncommon CPR was performed and it survived. Your CBN is now a miracle worker. Amazing, isn’t it?
Why Unity Bank and why the choice of Providus Bank for a merger? Was it really an obligatory move or simply because some corpses were not meant to be buried, instead you find a way and pump life back into it? Who benefited from this heist – depositors, shareholders or some boys? After this miracle, will the bank still go out to raise money for recapitalization or it has been recapitalized?
Again, where did the almighty CBN get N700 billion from, its profits, it borrowed or it created it from thin air? Each of them has different implications, the latter would lead to another round of inflation. If it borrowed it and gave it away for almost nothing, then it’s still like creating money from thin air. If it’s profits, then what is the balance?
The NNPCL guy said yesterday that they serve Nigeria honestly and they are patriotic, and the CBN seems to be serving Nigeria honestly and they are patriotic too. Ladies and gentlemen, honesty and patriotism have a new meaning in Nigeria.