Quote from Alex bobby on August 13, 2024, 12:18 PM

Donald had a chat with Elon, and here’s their vision for the future: where losers come out on top, and incompetence reigns supreme

Would you feel comfortable boarding a spaceship to Mars, led by a man who struggles with something as simple as a livestream? If so, you’d be joining a queue of thousands of avid supporters who not only have unwavering faith in Elon Musk, the owner of X (formerly Twitter), but also spend countless hours hoping that their relentless online praise will one day catch his eye. Keep grinding, folks!

Recently, a rather intriguing headline caught my attention: “Elon Musk denies his sperm will seed Mars colony.” While Musk dismisses this idea, it’s hard to shake the feeling that there might be more volunteers than necessary for that particular role on Mars. It’s the other essential ingredient for human life that might be in shorter supply on the Red Planet.

Moving from the future of Mars to the present state of political discourse, let’s talk about the recent Monday night exchange between Musk and former President Donald Trump on X. Despite being audio-only, starting nearly an hour late, and attracting far fewer listeners than anticipated, the conversation managed to be a disaster on many fronts—even Trump’s dentures seemed eager to escape. After the event, Musk bizarrely asked the public, “Anyone have a <1 hour edit of the highlights of the @realDonaldTrump conversation?” Excuse me, what? That’s like NBC asking, “Does anyone have highlights of the Olympics?” You own the platform, Elon. How could you not organise highlights?

This wasn’t the first time Musk’s platform botched a significant live event. Remember when Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, whom Musk had backed, launched his presidential campaign on X? That tech-fail was so disastrous that even Trump, Musk’s latest guest, couldn’t resist calling it “a DISASTER!”

Making the conversation audio-only felt oddly outdated. One commentator remarked that it could’ve been an email; honestly, it would’ve worked best as a fax. It wasn’t just a case of ignoring the tech revolution—it felt like the Industrial Revolution hadn’t even happened. Maybe Musk will upgrade his servers to something more modern, like a spinning jenny, in time for the next big event. For now, he’d like you to believe the technical issues were due to a “massive DDOS attack,” which, strangely enough, didn’t affect the rest of X. This excuse ranks right up there with pop star Katy Perry claiming her recent single was “satire.” After Monday night’s debacle, let’s just say Musk’s conversation with Trump was a satire—a reset of his idea of masculine divine.

This event was certainly a reset for how 21st-century power dynamics are showcased. Take, for example, billionaire hedge funder Bill Ackman, who recently endorsed Trump. On Monday night, he could be seen pitifully tweeting at Trump’s dormant X account: “Please let Elon know we can’t join.” Watching an old guy helplessly shouting into the digital void because he couldn’t figure out how to join a meeting—well, that really encapsulates the reset of the idea of masculine divine. Have you tried turning it off and on again, Bill?

As for the substance of Musk and Trump’s fireside chat (which resembled more of a dumpster fire), it’s worth mentioning that Trump expressed a desire to shut down the Department of Education and referred to Biden’s presidency as the result of a “coup.” At least, according to Trump, the Democrats managed to organise a successful one.

Finally, for someone hailed as a genius, Musk’s interview technique is surprisingly reminiscent of a clueless 90s morning show host. Remember when Donna Air asked The Corrs how they met? Musk’s sycophantic laughter punctuated Trump’s meandering monologue, especially when Trump mentioned meeting North Korea’s Kim Jong-un. “That was cool,” gushed Musk, whose platform is banned in North Korea. Trump then suggested that if he wins the next election, their next meeting should be in Venezuela because it would be “a far safer place” than the U.S. Given that X is also banned in Venezuela, at least we’d be spared another glitchy meeting of minds like this one.