Quote from Oladosun Joshua Segun on March 19, 2025, 11:23 PM

Ever feel like you're ships passing in the night with your partner? Life gets hectic, and it's easy to lose that spark. Michelle Obama recently shared a peek into her marriage with Barack, and her secret might surprise you. It all comes down to how they spend their evenings the "best time of day," according to her.

Amidst busy days filled with work, kids, and endless to-do lists, carving out time for your relationship can feel impossible. But those moments of connection are vital. What if I told you there's a real science behind it?

When couples connect, their brains release feel-good chemicals like oxytocin. This strengthens bonds and promotes feelings of love and security. Consistent connection nurtures a healthy relationship.

The Becoming author cheekily revealed that she looks forward to going to sleep with husband of 32 years Barack Obama every night.

"Bedtime is the best time of day," the former first lady said in a teaser clip shared to Instagram March 20 podcast. "My husband teases me about how early I can go to bed." 

She added, "He just doesn't understand. The idea of getting into some good sheets, and it's cool."

Michelle joked that even when she and her husband have guests over, she's ready for bed right after the goodbyes.

"If we've got people in the house, I'm game, I'm there, I'm up. I'm in it, I'm laughing, I'm talking," she said. "But, you know, the minute we finish up, I'm just trying not to go to bed before the sun goes down."

When asked her ideal bedtime, Michelle noted, "Any time after dinner."

Think of entropy as the natural tendency for things to drift apart over time. Evening routines act like glue, holding you and your partner together. These rituals help you resist relationship entropy. They can keep you close, even when life throws curveballs.

And the former first lady knows exactly how she developed her passion for getting into bed. In fact, Michelle shared that her routine when daughters Sasha, 23, and Malia, 26, were young, may have influenced her bedtime habits.

"The girls, they were good sleepers," she explained. "Bathtime 7:00, bedtime 7:30, and then I had at least a couple hours where nobody was asking me for anything." 

The 61-year-old continued, "Maybe that's where I got the early bedtime from."

Sharing rituals creates opportunities for emotional bonding. It's about creating a safe space where you can both open up and be vulnerable. A predictable, positive routine allows for that kind of closeness.

So, what does Michelle and Barack's "best time of day" actually look like? It's surprisingly simple. They focus on unplugging, unwinding, and having focused conversations.

In a world that's always "on," the Obamas make a conscious effort to disconnect. This means putting away phones, turning off the TV, and creating a tech-free zone. Doing so allows them to truly focus on each other.

And while Barack may not understand Michelle's affinity for an early bedtime, there's something she also can't understand about her husband his tendency for being late.

"I got this husband who's like, when it's time to leave, it's three o'clock, he's getting up and going to the bathroom!" she told brother Craig Robinson on the first episode of their podcast on March 11. "And I was like, 'Dude, dude, three o'clock departure means you've done all that,' you know? Don't start looking for your glasses, you know, at the three o'clock departure."

And her brother Craig agreed that when they were growing up "on time was late," which is something Michelle has worked to instill in her daughters.

"If they're doing anything with me," she said, "they are early."

Their evenings are a time for genuine conversation. They discuss their days, share their thoughts, and simply enjoy each other's company. It's not about solving problems; it's about connecting on a deeper level.

The key to their routine is being fully present. They're not just physically in the same room; they're actively listening and engaging with each other. This undivided attention makes all the difference.

Want to create your own "best time of day" with your partner? Here are some tips inspired by the Obamas:

Treat your evening connection time like any other important appointment. Put it on the calendar and protect it fiercely. Even 30 minutes of focused time can make a difference.

Establish clear boundaries around technology. Designate a specific time or area where phones and other devices are off-limits. This will help minimize distractions and promote better communication.

Sometimes, getting the conversation flowing is the hardest part. Keep a list of prompts handy, like "What was the best part of your day?" or "What are you looking forward to this week?" Games can work, too.

Prioritizing evening connection rituals can have a ripple effect throughout your relationship. You'll likely see some positive changes. What is there to gain?

Regular conversations help you understand each other better. They foster empathy and improve your ability to communicate effectively. You can express yourself and your needs.

A strong foundation of connection can help you navigate disagreements more easily. You'll be better equipped to resolve conflicts constructively. The feeling of being a team reduces friction.

Ultimately, prioritizing connection leads to a deeper sense of fulfillment in the relationship. You'll feel more loved, supported, and appreciated. This will contribute to overall happiness.

While evening routines are valuable, it's also important to foster connection throughout the day. Little acts can help. How else can you stay connected?

Send a short text or make a quick call to let your partner know you're thinking of them. These small gestures can make a big impact. A simple "I love you" works wonders.

Engage in hobbies or interests together. Whether it's going for a walk, cooking a meal, or watching a movie, shared experiences strengthen your bond. It's all about having fun together.

Show love and appreciation through thoughtful gestures. Make your partner coffee, do a chore they dislike, or simply offer a helping hand. Small acts of kindness go a long way.

Michelle Obama's insight highlights the importance of prioritizing connection in relationships. By implementing simple evening rituals, couples can foster lasting love and happiness. So, why not steal a page from the Obama's book and create your own "best time of day?" Your relationship may thank you.